A Little Deeper

Good morning! It is a rainy gray day here in Idaho. Perfect for coffee and deeper reflection.

I usually write about more positive and uplifting things in life, but today I wanted to wander through the dark with you. Grab a lantern and let me gently introduce you to depression.

A Short Story

My little mouse is back, gray and gloomy again. He likes to sit on my back and weigh me down with his obsessive thoughts and self deprivation. More often than not, he will whisper false truths in my ear and grab ahold of my thoughts. He will charm them with a glass of whiskey and discuss his latest sorrows. Before it is time for dessert, my mind will be drunk off sadness unable to move and void of emotion. Now, we are all trapped unaware of the time, the day, and the year.

Oh that little gray mouse on my back. Why do you visit me so often and leave me feeling weak? Why do you rattle lies and paralyze me to the point where all I want to do is sleep?

Please little mouse, leave me alone. Please have grace and understand there is no room for a mouse on my back.

In the last couple of years, I was visited by the little gray mouse. Some weeks he overstayed his welcome. Some months he would take a rather long vacation to the point where I thought he would never return. At first, I didn’t know who he was and continued to entertain him until the early hours of the morning. He grew comfortable and I kept feeding him.

He had an impact on my relationships, my future, and my present self. Thankfully, I have a strong support system within my life and they helped me kindly escort the little gray mouse back to the darkness where he came from. Ultimately, I had to decide to close the door behind him.

After my time with the little gray mouse, I held a gathering inviting hope, motivation, strength, patience, and the guest of honor, gratitude. We sat around the table and celebrated our time with the gray mouse, thanking him for showing us that darkness is needed to see the light.

“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light”

-Albus Dumbledore

I understand this was a heavier blog than usual, but I felt it was important to share. If you or anyone you know is ever visited by the little gray mouse, know you are not alone and there will come a day where he will say goodbye.

I am thankful for my husband, my family, and my friends. More importantly, I am thankful for myself and for having the courage to wander in the dark to know that even I get lost, I will always come back to find the light.

With Love,

The Daily Paige